I’m pooped…

This is what I'll be doing the moment I publish this post.

This is what I’ll be doing the moment I publish this post.  Puppy naps rule!

First day of new job — done!  I made it, yay!  Now I just need the longest nap ever (oh, and see above for requisite “cutest puppy ever” pic)…

I almost didn’t think I’d even make it to the new job, to be honest.  I woke up early, ready to tackle the day, and then promptly tripped on the hem of my new work pants as I was carrying them out of the closet — perfectly ripping the bottom hem out.  Good thing I conveniently pocketed that mini mending kit from the honeymoon hotel, huh? (I knew that and the shower cap would come in handy someday).

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to sew, so it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how to thread the needle (I feel like the eye of the needle is bizarrely tiny – they aren’t all that small, are they?  Or am I going blind already?).  Plus, I didn’t have enough thread to actually hem the entire pant leg, soooo, I threw a few stiches in the front and back and then safety pinned the sides.  Sexy.  Maybe the new coworkers will think I’m crafty? (sidenote: just using the phrase “threw a few stitches” makes me feel like a total sewing badass.  Oh yeah.)

Anywho, once I finally made it to my car, I realized that only one windshield wiper was working…the passenger side one, of course.  I *could* have pulled over to scrape the ice patches off my driver’s side windshield, but I was already late, so I did the weird sideways driving where you try to peer above or to the left of whatever is directly in front of you.  Totally safe (think Jim Carrey’s driver’s side window driving ala Ace Venture, Pet Detective except I was leaning in the other direction).

Once on the highway, I discovered one aspect of my very long commute that I hadn’t thought of yet.  The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and my commute is dead east.  That means sun, in my face, the entire drive.  Sun, in my face, glittering off all the stupid shiny snow.  I could literally feel my face getting a snowburn in the front seat of my car.  Super fun.

Oh, and did I mention that my heater wasn’t working either?  After 20 minutes of telling myself “Just another minute or two, the car has to heat up first, and honestly, shivering burns calories, right?”, I finally lost my temper and beat the crap out of the dash.  By the grace of God, that worked, and the heat kicked on…just around the time I pulled off the highway, not far from my new building.

Luckily, I made it to the new job on time, in one piece, and ready to tackle the day (take 2).  I even got a snazzy new badge.  How exciting!